3 Little Known Tips for Getting More Referrals

by Samantha Hartley on July 29, 2010

What’s an ideal referral for you?

That’s a question I ask a lot, and if you had a hidden camera, the view wouldn’t be pretty.  You’d see:
  • I see more referrals coming your way.

    Unspecific, long-winded, confusing answers
  • Phrases like “Well, it’s a little hard to explain” and “Really, anyone who ….”
  • Contorted body language that would make you think a spider went down someone’s shirt!
Being asked “What’s a good referral for you?” is one of the best things that can happen to you. Reward that behavior with a concise, clear, compelling answer.  It should look something like, “A great referral for me is [this target audience] who is struggling with [this problem] and wants to get [this result].”

Mine would be:
“An ideal referral for me is a solopreneur who is tired of the peaks and valleys in his or her business and wants to attract a steady stream of perfect clients.”
If you don’t have a concise, clear, compelling answer, stop reading this right now and go request a consultation with me to learn how to get an audio logo or brand message that will help you build your business.

There are lots of great books on getting more referrals, my favorite of which is Endless Referrals.
As someone who is blessed to get a lot of referrals, I want to share some little known tips, fun nuances that really dial up your results.

You’re not asking anyone to having a selling conversation with you


1.    Host an intro event.  This is a really creative way to get several referrals at once.
Instead of the regular “who do you know who” invitation, make it more specific.  Ask a colleague to host a conference call or invite you to speak at one of her associations or groups.

This works because you’re not asking anyone to having a selling conversation with you, but to come hear some information that might help them.  This method has gotten me as much as $24,000 from a single referral.  Not bad, eh?

2.    Ask for them – comfortably.  You know that awkward feeling that comes up when you ask someone for a referral?
The way your throat gets tight, your mouth goes dry and your palms sweat?  Well, you can’t have that and expect to get referrals.

The energy you bring to the asking is very important.
If that sounds too woo-woo, just think about the description I just shared.  Do you really want to send your trusted client or friend to some nervous wreck who could hardly get the question out?

Asking for referrals can be difficult and intimidating.

If you’re not doing it regularly, you have likely avoided it for those very reasons. I have a secret for you:
Practice. Practice saying exactly the words that will come out of your mouth when you ask for a referral.

When I was growing up I did tons of theatre, and I went on to direct plays in college and beyond.  Having spent years of my life in rehearsals, saying the same things over and over, I can tell you there is both power in language and power in you to manipulate the emotion in language.

What that means is: if you find a friend, partner – even your dog – to practice with, you’ll wear the emotion out of the phrase. For bonus points, you can visualize the scariest situation and practice it until it feels neutral.

I spent a lot of time on this because it’s the single biggest reason I see for my clients not getting more referrals: fear of asking for them. Take back your power and ask!

3.    Memorable thank you gifts.
There are more ways to thank someone than just money, and luxury gifts make a big impression.  I love the bamboo-patterned crystal bowl from Tiffany’s that someone once gave me.  Something about that blue Tiffany box sends women over the edge.  Godiva chocolates also make a big impression.

Stay “top of mind” … Surprise and delight!

Since staying top of mind is a key part of getting more referrals, you might consider ongoing gifts, like a subscription to Orchid of the Month,  Fruit of the Month and even Bacon of the Month clubs. These surprise, delight and continually remind your referral partners of you.

Similarly, you can choose a gift that stays present in the office, like that crystal bowl I mentioned, or the eco-friendly coffee cup I love to give.


There’s nothing more important to getting referrals than becoming known for what you do.

You do this with spectacular work for your clients and by being able to articulate what makes a good referral for you.  When you’ve got that down, sprinkle in one of these three tips and you’ll really thrive.

What’s your favorite tip for getting more referrals? Please let us know below in the comments.

Related posts:

  1. 10 Ways to Generate More Referrals
  2. Free teleclass: How to Get More Referrals
  3. Quick tips to recession proof your marketing
  4. 10 Tips for Attracting Clients Consistently

{ 5 comments, add yours! }

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Stephen Moulton August 2, 2010 at 7:31 am

I must admit I don’t ask my clients for referrals as often as I should and these are some very good insights.
Last week one of my clients hosted a visit from a sister organization and spent several hours explaining my programs. The prospective client contacted me the following day and we spoke for almost and hour about their needs. Good news my existing client did such a good sales presentation that I hardly spoke of what I did and was able to focus on them. Proposal will go out tomorrow.

Samantha Hartley August 2, 2010 at 11:05 am

Awesome, Steve! That’s exactly the expedited results one can expect from good referrals.

Steve Hendon August 8, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Stephen’s story is amazing. His client knew enough about his business to know who his perfect client was and talk to them for hours about it.

It’s really affirming (and profitable) when a client not only refers you, but also sells the product or service for you. I have a client that has referred three prospects to me. She knows me well enough to know who my perfect client is and has sent the right client every time.

Kathleen Alexander August 14, 2010 at 3:27 am

The best part about referrals is that the “selling” is already done for you! Since working with you, Samantha, on the BRAG group, I’m planning to make ‘asking for referrals’ part of my marketing strategy. I love the idea of sending a memorable gift too!

Samantha Hartley August 16, 2010 at 1:03 am

@Steve H. So nice to hear you’re getting referrals from clients. It’s a perfect way to magnify your impact! BTW I’ll be sending those your way who want to know how to learn and leverage their strengths.

@Kathleen, I’ll be sure to refer to you those corporate refugees wanting a better-fitting career or maybe even a business of their very own. Memorable gifts? I do love those Tiffany boxes … ;-)

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